Everything is my fault.

Everything.

In my home, in my business, with my wife, with my kids, with my parents, with my team, with my patients… Everything that happens or does not happen is 100% my fault! Why?

Because I’ve decided it is so.

“That’s crazy and unrealistic”, I can almost hear you saying. And maybe you are right, but that really doesn’t matter. I choose to believe that everything is my fault because it gives me options. If I believe that I am the problem then my first instinct is to look at my actions and change what I’m doing instead of searching for a way to blame others. If I believe that others are the problem then I have zero options because I cannot make others change no matter how hard I try!

It’s taken me several years to get comfortable with the idea that it’s all my fault but I must tell you that it is a fantastic place to be. This mindset allows me change the conversation and move it away from focusing on what happened in the past, stop the struggle to assign blame and move ahead toward a solution.  When I am able to say, “It was my fault” to all parties involved, assignment of blame is off the table and a huge source of fear is removed.

Don’t believe me? Try it sometime when you are at an impasse with your spouse or your child or your patient. Say it out loud, “It was my fault… what can we do to make it right?” What do you have to lose?

Odds are that, just like me, you’re in the wrong much more often than you think.