The world needs more! We orthodontists are especially terrible when it comes to being good receivers. I have been particularly guilty of being a poor receiver and still struggle to accept anything from anyone.
“It’s better to give than to receive” we have all been taught, but is it really? Is it possible for there to be more giving than receiving? I’m afraid not – giving and receiving must be done in exactly equal amounts. It’s simple logic and math.
Besides, why do we love to give so much? Not only is it “the right thing to do”, we also feel good when we give fellow human beings our time, attention, compassion and other things of value depending on their immediate or long term needs. Actually it doesn’t feel good, it feels great to give to another in a meaningful way. And therein lies the problem with the lack of receivership among us orthodontists and people in general. We don’t want to accept gifts of any kind from others because we don’t want to be “that guy” or beholden to them or we think we don’t deserve or haven’t earned the gift.
BUT IT’S NOT ABOUT US.
When we selfishly refuse to accept a carefully considered and presented gift from a fellow human being we are denying them the great feeling that comes along with giving. Worse still, we make the giver feel bad or unworthy in rejecting them. That’s terrible and selfish of us to be so callous to the attempt of another human being to make or enhance an interpersonal connection. I understand it’s crazy and counterintuitive to say that refusing to receive a gift is selfish, but think about it and try to be a gracious receiver next time someone takes the time and makes the effort to give you something. I suck at receivership but I work hard every day to improve! That’s what life is all about. Perfection is unattainable but better is better!